Thursday, November 14, 2013

One year to the day...ehhhh?

How crazy that I just so happened to check on my blog and my LAST entry was one year to the date? So said that it's been that long. Also, it's crazy to see how much has changed since my last entry!

That job I switched to....I quit altogether 3 months later to take care of my mom. I cashed in the 401k and lived on that and student loans and my tax return for a while. It was nice to be off...while it lasted! Mom had her 2nd revision surgery. Got her through that, did it fix everything? HELL NO.

I started going to a LifeGroup through my church. It's cool...but the ladies there all have younger kids. I just wonder if I should start my own or what.

I have a new guy in my life. I am currently VERY irritated with him (which prompted this here blog entry, believe it or NOT!?) Why do men have to PUSH you? Why is it that the ones who are smart and give good advice tend to shove it down your throat at every turn? I am not a child....and if I WAS a child-I am not YOUR child so save your lectures!??? I don't need your advice and life lessons on everything from driving, to putting gas in my car, to parenting, to friendship, to being a daughter (ummm hello....I am pretty sure I have more experience in that department.) I must admit that I do like him, but I am afraid that (as usual) things will take a turn....kind of like they did tonight. He pushed that point. That point of getting cussed out...that point of a wounded animal coming out of the corner in attack mode because that is what I am use to. I am independent out of NECESSITY. I haven't had the option to be weak or let someone else handle things for me outside of my mother on occasion (not as of late obviously!)

So far, I have learned that I am "secretive", don't reveal enough, too independent, won't let people help me, "spoiled" (hahahahahahaha I wish I had the luxury)....but yet when I do try to open up...I get accused of wanting to still see my ex...????? If I wanted to see him I could see him, sleep with him, etc ANY time I wanted to....and he has even offered $ for dumb would it be for me to TELL you all these things with the intention of taking him up on the offers. That is just so blatantly IGNORANT!???????????? I feel that if you think I am that dumb of a woman, you best be on your way.

Seriously....I feel that I am just in a place in my life where I don't NEED the BS. If you want to debate everything with me, complain about everything but then turn around and tell me how amazing I am...maybe you need some medication for those mood swings? Multiple personality disorder? I don't know, but hell I take my meds-maybe you should do the same!??? Other than being a know it all, he is a good guy...;-) I'm just not sure how things will go with us on the long term. Time will tell. Hopefully, I will have a good update....maybe tonight is a bad night.....full moon..???

Speaking of meds, plain and simple I just want off the stupid things. I have gone from Celexa, to Lexapro (my fav minus the weight gain!-which I am still trying to lose), to Pristiq (back to Lexapro), to Cymbalta, and now to Vybrid. Lex is the best (FOR ME) mood wise, but good Lord, I can't gain any more weight. I lost 107 total, and am maintaining 83lbs lost. I would like to get to 120lbs lost which was my original goal. So that would put me at needing to lose 37lbs currently. Honestly, lately I have been wanting to low carb it. I go between that and paleo....So basically a low carb version of paleo...does that make sense? Real food...just no fruit until I hit my goals? I would like to at least lose 15 by the end of the year (that gives me a little over 7 weeks!) I think I could totally do it just by not drinking crap (sugar!)...I actually just realized I haven't had pop all week! No wonder I am cranky! Sad panda...

I started a new job, but I am trying to go back to the old job. Not THE old job...but the old employer. Better benefits by FAR!

Well, I will try to update more frequently! XOXO