Wednesday, November 14, 2012

In a funk....

I don't know what is going on w/me here lately...just in a funk. Obviously, my mom being in the hospital for the last 2 weeks isn't helping (but then again, it is because I feel like other people are with her all day and night-which I can't be.

Went and saw my docs PA last week and I found out I was low on Vit D (again!) and iron. No wonder I am tired. I have some mixed emotions about the advice I received. On one hand, I do feel like I learned a couple things about boosting my (non exsistant) metabolism. On the other hand, I was blown away when she told me to keep my carbs at 150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? No way! She also told me that even 15 min of consistent exercise would help boost my metabolism. I do think that exercise is the only way to boost it at this point. I was also advised to continue Biolean (a supplement that is suppose to boost my metabolism as well, give me energy, and curb appetite) Yeah, I don't know. At first, I thought it helped but I don't think these folks understand me and that I am a-a recovering diet pill addict (Been on em all!) so therefore, I am desensitized to this "soft" stuff. B-That is WAY too damn many carbs for this chick. I am also frustrated with first I thought it was the, I am thinking its a waste of my time and $$$. I feel like I am on nothing except for the fact that I am exhausted (and now, I have added the VIT D and iron supplement). I just don't's hard to exercise when all you want to do when you get home from work (and visiting mom in the hospital and whatever my kids need-like basketball prac)-is collapse!!!I just feel like low carbing it is my only option or go get diet pills. I emailed the NP today to see what she suggests because I can't keep feeling blah and tired everyday! I was never "depressed" to begin with...I sought help with feeling like I had adult add and I was put on antidepressants. Go figure. Color me frustated with the whole thing. I just want to feel better, be able to focus, start enjoying life, and start losing weight again. Somebody help. *prays*

That is about all that is going on with me right now...pretty blah at the moment and looking forward to Thanksgiving (or maybe just being off work LOL)

Oh, speaking of work-I start a new position on 11/29. That, I am excited about. Working with a plastic surgeon who happens to do free work for his employees :-) not that that helped me decide about taking this position or anything LOL. Not only that but he is very pro-low carb and this job is less sendentary than the one I am now in. Maybe it will push me a little.

Talk laters babes. (Yes, a 50 shades reference lol)

Friday, October 19, 2012

Trucking along....

Last week, at the library-something caught my eye! The cd version of Gary Taubes "Why we get fat"....I tried (unsuccessfully) in the past to read Good Calories, Bad Calories. I have far too many attention issues to conquer before I will attempt that again! It's probably a great read if you are into that science stuff =)

I started listening to it yesterday and what an eye opener it has been so far! This is one thing that has stuck with me so far:

A restricted carbohydrate diet doesn't make you lose weight; it corrects your weight.

A restricted carbohydrate diet doesn't make you lose water weight, it corrects your water weight.

A restricted carbohydrate diet doesn't improve serum lips; it corrects serum lipids.

A restricted carbohydrate diet doesn't imporve health; it corrects unhealthiness.

That is awesome stuff right there in my book! It will also help me break this down to other people. I hope I keep picking up more and more knowledge as to why this is the answer for so many people! Not everyone, mind you. Some people are not carb sensitive...but for the rest of us-this is amazing info to arm yourself with. I feel empowered =) Yesterday, I was 189-this morning-186. I even ate well at a Chinese buffet! (There is a law somewhere that states that as soon as you start trying to avoid carbs/sugar/whatever that your friends will invite you to dinner!) I have to learn to eat the way my body responds best to. Sure I CAN eat whatever I want, but how does that make me feel? I think the missing link for me is learning about the science behind it all. I am amazed =) I feel that I can and will make my goal by the end of year. I have 27lbs to go...I can do this! The only exercise I plan on doing is walking and Zumba. The fact of the matter is that I don't really like working out...I am tired of feeling like a failure because of that. And with that...I will end with this:

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

-Albert Einstein

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My once a month post =)

Ok, so in regards to my last post with the 5 day pouch test...yeah, it didn't happen. I just don't wanna. What I did do, however, is go establish care with my mom's new doc. Love that guy!

He basically had me do a test to see what my resting metabolism is and yeah, it SUCKS!!!!!! =( It makes perfect sense to me that I lost easily after surgery because my RMR is 1300!!! And doc says in order for me to lose weight I need to eat like 900 cals per day. What the what!!!!!?????? Ugh.

He told me:

1. I need to find ways to boost my metablism aka exercise. Imagine that! He did also mention that I didn't need to do tons of exercise, just little stuff here and there helps. I'm sure that increasing my muscle mass would help.

2. He took me off the Lexapro and put me on Pristiq (known to help with weight loss instead of gain like Lexapro is known for! Angry face)

3. Gave me a supplement called Biolean that is suppose to help with metablism (I don't know if I buy this, but I will give it a try)

4. Told me to avoid liquid protein for problemo...sick of those shakes anyway! Stick with solid protein.

5. Ordered labs which I will hopefully get done this week

6. Return to his office in 4 weeks to check progress

7. Attend support group/possibly see his on site psych person. I am totally open to this.

So far, I am down 4lbs!!!! Yipppeeeeeee =) Didn't weigh this morning, but as of yesterday that was the outcome. I would love to be back in the 70's by the end of the month!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Back on track

Ok so I am not doing so hot with weight loss. To review...I had VSG on 12/29/10. I started out at lowest weight has been doc started me on Lexapro...and my weight has been going up ever since. While I do believe that the Lex has SOMETHING to do with it....I know that I have slid off the grid with my eating,water,and exercise. My weight is up..last I checked it was 189.5 :( I hung out at 179 it's up 10 more lbs. My weight loss goal was 159 (to be at a even 120). I have made several futile attempts at low carbing. It works for me, I feel so much better doing it...but for some reason I feel compuslively drawn to carbs. an addict drawn to alcohol, heroin,crack,whatever. I start out doing well...then for some odd reason...I run to the's stupid and it pisses me off. I haven't come this far to turn back now. I am tired of sabotaging myself....I want this! And I don't want my pants getting all tight (like they are now that it's getting cooler and I can't wear dresses as much!)

My plan of action:
5 DPT...(found at

Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. Read more.
Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy. Read more.

Day 4: Firm Protein
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut. Read more.
Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game
Read more.

After day 5, I will check my weight and try to stick with the basics until I reach my original goal. The basics means:
Protein first
At least 60 grams of protein
One shake per day
30 carbs or less
Half my weight in water (95oz Good Lord!)
Exercise 30 min per day 5 days per week (cardio)
Weight training 2-3 days per week
No slider foods

I have to remember the habits that got me to almost 300lbs to begin with...why would I EVER want to go back to that life? Hating the way I look and feel, shopping in plus sizes, feeling insecure all the time, hoping pics turned out decent and half the time they didn't...I don't want that life. I want to feel GOOD about myself and my accomplishments....This is doable and well within my control.

Thursday, September 13, 2012


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Monday, September 10, 2012


Hi there's been a while (of course it has!)

Just going to update here...

School-still chugging along. Have a big project due tonight..hopefully will get it done. NO, I will get it done.

Work-nothing new here

Weight loss-haven't been weighing which is a problem for me. Out of sight, out of mind. Need to get focused. Not much time left in the year. I would love to reach goal by 12/29/12 (my 2 year surgiversary)

Mom-Alot has happened here. I got fed up with her surgeon (who also happened to be MY surgeon) and found a new one. He is ahhhhmazing. He put her in the hospital for the SOLE purpose of getting her health back on track. He hooked her up to amino acids,fatty acids. She looks SO much better. She did put a few lbs back on, but the reality is that her weight loss was not due to her bypass anyway. It was because she was puking up everything she ate due to the fistula. Basically, her small pouch was still connected to the remnant stomach. In essence, she had no bypass. Dr. G did a scope and placed endoscopic clips to try to heal that w/out doing another unnecessary surgery. I had to take her back to the hospital Wednesday because she was hurting for the first time in a long time. He admitted her and rescoped. Her opening has closed up about 75%. He placed another clip to try to get it to close the rest of the way! I love him!!! He thinks it will close up on its own since it is doing good so far. Best decision I have made was taking her out of Dr. N's care. I have talked to a few attorneys, but I just don't have time to devote to that at the moment. I did get her records, and well it was very interesting....She was very dishonest about a few things and I am not even going back to her for follow up. For now, mom is stable and doing well. I trust Dr. G will handle her care more thoroughly and he is VERY honest and real about things. I appreciate that over being lied to and being given a dumbed down version of my mothers condition. Sadly, I sent alot of business Dr. N's way....but my loud mouth works BOTH ways. She was my surgeon, and I had no problems....but I also had no complications. I was also only 30 years old with no major health problems. She is not qualified to do surgery on someone who has the possiblity of complications. Of course, that could be anyone. I will not refer ANYone else to her, in fact I told a coworker to run the other way. I understand FULLY that any surgery has possiblities of complications. I just do not feel like this woman handled MY mothers complications with any time of concern. She was ready to operate again (unnecessarily) on my mother despite her declining health condition. She seriously may not have made it off the operating table at that point. I am forever grateful to Dr. G for taking on her case and getting her back on track.

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Monday, June 25, 2012

Twice in one month...I'm outta control! =)

Just wanted to update my lil blog here.

-Mom is home, out of the hospital and doing better than she has in a LONG time. This is after a visit to ICU and 1.5 weeks in the hospital. It was a ROUGH time, I am NOT going to lie. Glad she is better and sounding more and more like herself everyday.

-My weight is not my fav subject right now. I need ketosis, and I need it quick. Today, I am doing well. Meal planning and workouts are in my future. Here is my menu for today:

B-1/2 HB egg & rasberry greek yogurt

L-Leftover wings (4)

S-Cashews (about 2 oz spread out over the day)

D-I am thinking chicken stir fry. I need to use it up

Exercise: Jillian Michaels 30 day shred or Zumba

I need to refocus and lose at least 26lbs to reach my goal. I will reevaluate after I get there. I think losing 26lbs in the next 3 months is doable. I tend to lose very quickly with low carbing/ketosis so I can probably lose quite a bit this week if I stay committed.

-Finances-weight loss/finances seem to go hand and hand with me. When I am willy nilly with my eating, I am usually eating out ($$$$) and wasting groceries and not paying as much attention to my diet as I should. I shudder to think how much $ is wasted on eating out/fast food/convenience food. I am going to try my darndest to stick to meal planning/eating at home/eating out as a TREAT not an expectation. I think part of my problem is being a single parent. I have no one there to say, no lets not waste $ eating out. My grocery budget for July will be $250 ($62.50 per week for a family of 3).I haven't been couponing lately. I let my newspaper sub go (on accident) :( and I am not use to remembering to buy them anymore. I have, however been shopping at Aldi. If you don't shop at Aldi you are missing out! They have the BEST deals on produce,milk,nuts and many other items. I think I may start blogging about that actually.

I plan on buying the bulk of our groceries there, with the exception of meat. I will probably shop Crest/Sams for that. My youngest son decided he wants to start eating healthier and I think this will help me and him :)

I am also trying to find ways that I can cut down on expenses without feeling like we can't ever do anything fun. For instance-cutting our cable package down, cancelling our gym membership, not going to the nail salon (tear), making coffee at home instead of going to Starbucks,etc.

-Blogging-I have never really decided what direction this blog should take, (the name ADD should be a clue that I am all over the place lol) but I would like to start focusing more on budgeting/weight loss. Not to say that other things won't be discussed because they certainly will.

-Nails Along with the finances, I am TRYING to cut down on silly things like the nail salon :( sad face. It's the one thing that makes me SUPER happy. I am just telling myself it's not forever, just until I can get my finances under control. I am checking into getting the shellac system at home. Will report back if I do :)

That's about it for now, will check in again soon :)

Thursday, June 7, 2012


I'm pretty proud of myself for updating my blog so soon..LOL Hey, it's only been 3 weeks :)

I stepped on the scale today and WOW! I need to step on that puppy a tad more frequently. I saw a number that I haven't seen since like Sept/Oct last year....So, I am recommitted to weighing daily. It makes a big difference in my outlook and food choices.

Will be working out tonight, did not go last night :( too busy watching the OKC Thunder beat the Spurs! (WOOT!!!!!!)

Right now, my goals are to get my weight under control. I know alot of my gain is water, so today I am chugging + taking green tea. I HAVE to get this under control, I do not want to gain weight and would like to reach my goal this year! I would like to see 172 (my low) by my 10 year olds birthday (7/11)-his bday party will actually be 7/7/12, so if I could get to that goal it would be fantastic since it's a pool party! That means, I need to lose 14lbs. I know that sounds like a lofty goal, but I KNOW that I will be back to 179 in NO time (I was stuck there forever) and that additional 7 will be my main goal.

I also ordered P90 dvds, hopefully they will be here soon. I hear that you should start out here first before venturing into P90X. I want to get rid of the muffin top,flabby arms and upper thighs like YESTERDAY. I am going to buy a cheap (gasp!) bikini for some "before pics". I am inspired by so many of those, I may even post them here (shudder!!!) we will see. :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012


I am just awful at this blogging thing. I haven't updated in SIX long months? How the h did that happen? Oh, quite easily actually...just hear me out.

So....March 6th, my mom had RNY surgery (weight loss surgery for those who don't know). It has been a battle ever since basically. She developed a marginal ulcer that had to be removed 2 days ago. Basically, the doc had to redo her RNY and remove the ulcer. It was a hot mess. Several trips to the ER, being admitted twice (before this time!), lots of throwing up and pain (that honestly should not have happened! It really hacks me off actually) I am not a happy camper as it has been hard on all of us. I will always be there for my mom, but juggling hospital trips, work, kids sports, and school has been a challenge to say the least. I hope we are on the down hill slide to healthy and happy! :) I am praying for her healing and all of our sanity!

Me, I haven't lost any weight that I know of. I am just maintaining these days. Doc put me on Lexapro and I guess SSRI's have a tendancy to stall weight loss and or cause weight gain. Yay. It's a toss up: be happy and chunky or rude and skinny. I will let you know which one I choose after I go back for a follow up next month. I honestly don't know if I would be getting through these stressful times without it though! I just don't know how much longer I want to be on it.

I have been reading up on Paleo and I really love the idea of it. So, that is something I am working my way into. I am considering dropping my Y membership but everytime I think about it, I change my mind. It's $45 per month and now that I have a car payment, every little bit counts.

After my mom gets over her new surgery, I am considering a part time job. When the H do I have time for that!? I have no dang idea. As it is, it's a struggle to clean my house, do laundry, keep up with kids stuff, homework, and work! I am crazy I tell you....simply MAD.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say HI and I haven't forgotten about my blog :)